Year in Review: Abby

in my little corner of the world, 2012 was a big year. we grew, achieved, took risks, succeeded. before i start making resolutions again, i want to pause in this moment to celebrate a few of my close friends. i’ve asked them to share 3 things they learned this year – some are personal, some are professional, all are inspirational. we always have something to learn from others, and sometimes you don’t have to look very far.

first up is abby, a digital marketing strategist by day who started her own business this year, moved to a new city, and as you’ll read below, endured a pretty painful emotional growth spurt with grace and fearlessness. read abby’s personal year in review after the jump. 

a year in review – by abby

2012 was my 26th year living, and the first in which i shed self-reflection as simply a mirror for checking my hair and actively sought growth for myself. i shifted my sight from how others see me to how i see myself; from what others should know about me, to what i know about myself and how i can engage in honest relationships with the people i love.

to say i feel like a new person would be an understatement – yet with every layer i shed, i feel another one waiting to work through.

in an effort to put a flag in the ground on this point in my timeline, here are 3 things i’ve begun to learn this year:

your hard is hard:

this year i discovered a see-saw of perspective that’s far too easy to ride. on the way down, i would think: “woe is me! life is so hard! when will i get the resolution i want and deserve?!” and then i’d fly skyward: “this is nothing compared to his struggle or her sickness or all the injustice in the world!” i was getting a little nauseous from the rocking when a friend set me straight. “your hard is hard,” she said to all of us everywhere. and so is his, and hers, and everyone who’s paying attention to the story of their lives. the least helpful thing in working through your hard is to compare it to others’ or doubt the importance of each and every step in the journey. it’s equally detrimental to come to a friend’s hard place with your measuring cup in hand. hard is hard. don’t put them on a scale.

i want more than okay:

this year found me often in the presence of voices saying, “everything will be okay.” and i really do believe them. we are all stronger than we think, and the foggy times bring a sense of clarity to what we must hold tight. but a few months into “everything will be okay,” i realized that wasn’t going to cut it for me. that i was on the hunt for more than survival . . . for a life of creativity, community, and intentional steps toward words like thrive and flourish and ignite. i say it’s okay to want more than to just make it through the day, the year, the spell of hard, and i don’t say that as a cure but as a lens for seeing potential in the awkward and oh-so-clumsy of these emotional growth spurts.

friends are like knives – you just need one set of sharp ones.

i’ve come to appreciate the specialty nature of almost-adult friendships. i shopped too long for friends at Costco, looking for support and security in bulk. i felt the need to gather more and more and more of them, no matter the depth of each relationship. more friends meant more protection, affirmation, encouragement, and love – didn’t it?

this year provided a different model altogether. i found my strongest support in the specialized friendship – the cheerleader, the fighter, the thinker. the listener, the asker, the laugher. i’d display them as a collection of prized possessions if i could. these friends share a common trait of fearless vulnerability that makes their unique place in my life so preciously irreplaceable.

may we all be driven towards this kind of real relationship with whatever 2013 brings.